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June 24, 1998
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It's All About You!


That's right, kids, more horoscopes for your delectation. As always, my accuracy level is directly proportionate to the quality of information complied and the soundness of my conjecture upon it. In other words, it's about as accurate as anyone else's. So sit back, relax, and find out what's going to happen to you and where you should go when it does....

Aquarius
It's time for you to cease going with the flow and take responsibility! For what? And why? Just be aware that your dealings with those close to you may become complicated: is it because there are situations you've been blithley ignoring? However, this doesn't mean y'all should go a-meddlin' in affairs that don't concern you: namely, other people's. Besides, it seems you'll have your own affair to worry about soon enough, if you get my meaning (nudge nudge).

Pisces
Now this is some advice--or maybe I should say the permission--that I know you've been waiting for: Go do what you want. Go enjoy the good things in life. Go indulge your inner child. Go on a wild adventure. Go surround yourself with cute young boys--or girls--whichever you prefer. But one warning: one impulse you must avoid is the urge to make snap decisions. Those can wait until you're done following your bliss with a bottle in your hand.

Aries
This week may be confusing, as misunderstanding and provocation may rear their ugly heads within family and other relationships. Keep a cool head and trust your instincts. In the creative sphere, stretch your mind and your options like another Ariean, Herbie Hancock, or recline gracefully and enjoy the spotlight like the female of the species, Posh Spice.

Taurus
It's time to simplify and streamline, take it back down to the basics like that famed Taurean purveyor of the simple, Joey Ramone. Get back to your own three chords and a purpose! But remember, just because things are uncomplicated on the surface, it doesn't mean that chaos, confusion, and unrest do not lurk beneath. Others may not share your enthusiasm and might actually resent it. If so, they're just more bullshit that can be disposed of.

Gemini
Like Gemini princess Stevie Nicks, you must rediscover and resolve your past before you can boldly go into the future. Count your blessings and pass them along to others--their admiration will increase with their gratitude. But you might want to be a bit wary: those that resent you may not even fully realize it yet. Catch treachery before it starts.

Cancer
It's time to plan ahead. You have some big projects looming on the horizon, though nothing of a romantic nature. Career and/or creative endeavors will soon absorb a large portion of your time and energy--so get ready. Don't follow the bad example of fellow crab Courtney Love and procrastinate like a bitch, but you may want to use the next few days to have one last blast, and then settle in for contemplation, preparation, and dedication.

Leo
Leos are going through a moody period at present and are in a rare state of uncertainty--listen up, Ginger Spice, this means you! (Although whether it also applies to her fellow August 8-er, Isaac Hayes, remains to be seen.) But don't lose faith: this is just a little test--with perhaps a dab of black humor--from the man upstairs. The support of your friends 'n' family will see you through, as long as you don't let your self-doubt block their helpful efforts. (This last bit may not apply to Miss Ginger, as we all know where Girl Power got her.)

Virgo
You've been noticed, but not through the usual flaunting and fronting. No, it's your persistence and methodical nature that have earned you props. However, just because that's what got you here, it doesn't mean that you can't try to add a few surprise twists along the way. And if you can't come up with your own, maybe you can pick up a few tricks off of somewhere else.

Libra
Here's where those raging ambitions can finally pay off--you're in prime position to jump ahead, just pay attention to the quality of your work, watch the details, and don't get embroiled in any squabbles that may arise. Still, keep your balance, don't get scared, and don't exhaust yourself: this is just the beginning.

Scorpio
Calling all Scorpio dangergirls and dangerboys. Y'all are from hell this week. Raise a ruckus and leave chaos and heartbreak in your wake if you must, but don't take on anything you're not strong enough to handle, and don't be a hypocrite either--permit others the same recklessness you do yourself. But watch where you're headed: there may be a confrontation involving a problematic yet persistent relationship ahead. Now that you've been warned, feel free to continue along your path of destruction.

Sagittarius
Your communicative abilities are at their peak now. It's an ideal time to work out troubles with others, but don't forget to lay a little praise upon them as well. They, in turn, may provide support when you use those negotiating skills to reconcile a few conflicts within yourself.

Capricorn
Feeling vulnerable? Surrounded by emotional drama? Of course you are! But don't leap into anything, whether it looks like a safe haven or a black hole. Love may be all around, but you may want to examine the situation further before diving in; conflicts may seem impossible, but can be worked out with a little patience. Now is the time to believe in a higher power, be it Jesus, Buddha, Sinatra, or that mightiest of all Capricorns--Elvis Presley.



Previously:

Courtney Love sucks and some of the reasons why.

The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, The Lounge Lizards, and Afrika Bambataa & the Soul Sonic Force.

 


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